Awareness of the other person is the beginning point for a healthy relationship. Sometimes an affair is a wakeup call for those who drifted apart.
Read what this person says:
We let everything out, we talked…yelled…cried…but finally we were able to let each other know how we felt, and we found out that we were both so involved in ourselves that we didn’t even know what was going on with the other person. I had no idea that my husband was so unhappy, he got fired, started a job he hated and felt like I had pulled away, and that he was a failure. That’s when he started looking to have an affair, it started as just chat online and progressed from there. he started to blame me for everything that was wrong in his life, but keep his feelings to himself, I had no idea he felt that way. I on the other hand was so wrapped up in my job, which brought in most of our money, so I thought it was the more important than anything. And also with my friends from work, who made me feel great, I was always busy doing and going that I had no idea he thought anything was wrong, we both got wrapped up in ourselves. When I found out about the affair nearly killed us, it totally destroyed the relationship I thought we had, and for awhile we kept trying to go back, but finally we realized that we couldn’t go back, nor did I want to, now we are trying to moving forward, by building a new relationship, where we spend time together, and enjoy each other and our jobs come second, it is slow process. It still hurts, just not everyday..all the time.. now it’s once or twice a week, and with time hopefully it will become less. But the pain is harsh, it is almost physical pain and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy, but I don’t ingore the pain, we talk about it sometimes or sometimes I just need to cry, because an affair is almost like someone died, to me it felt like it, the person I thought my husband was died, and so now I am with a new person and I haven’t decided if I will continue with him or not, I haven’t made a forever decision I did that once and it didn’t work, now I make a daily decision, so far it has worked for me. One day at a time, is all I can handle, we make plans but only a few months out, I can’t think any further than that. It’s been 2 years now and I have finally gotten to the point where I don’t always wonder if he’s being truthful or if he’s doing what he says he’s doing, the worst part of an affair isn’t the affair, it’s what your mind does to you after you find out.