Video: Can a Marriage Survive Infidelity?

Video: Can A Marriage Survive Infidelity?

Overcoming infidelity takes a lot of work.

According to the video, there are five questions you should ask yourself to find out if your marriage can survive:

1. Do you have children?
2. Have the good times outweighed the bad
3. Do you have common interests besides sex?
4. Can you both truly forgive?
5. Can trust be restored?

What would Dr. Huizenga disagree with in this video? Please leave your comments below.

Couple Shares Outcome of Emotional Affair

The guest blogger today is a couple who have survived and redesigned their marriage after the husband’s emotional affair.

They write to tell their story and help others who might be experiencing an emotional affair as well.

Here’s what the husband writes:

Linda often tells me she doesn’t understand how I could have let myself get involved in an emotional affair with another woman. I can honestly say there wasn’t any singular reason or that I was looking for some kind of mid-life thrill. It was something that just happened. Unusual circumstances at work brought Tanya and I much closer than married co-workers should become. Combine that with dissatisfaction in her marriage and the marital “rut” that Linda and I were in, and there was a recipe for this type of marital affair to occur.

We found in each other certain feelings and personality traits that were missing in our marital relationships, and the result was a kind of euphoria that wasn’t existing at home. Only through Linda’s diligent efforts to save our marriage and my snapping back into reality did I realize just how stupid I had been. If I would have just been smart enough to confide in Linda when I initially felt like we were having marriage problems, I’m certain none of this would have happened.

The foundation of our love and our relationship was still sound: our kids, our home, our history together and all the things we have in common. But somehow we let the trials and tribulations of everyday life stop us from continuing to build upon this solid foundation which resulted in my devastating emotional infidelity.

Coping with Infidelity: When to “Let Go”

Should I stay or should I go? And, when will I know when to go? Can this marriage be saved? When will I know it’s salvageable?

These are pressing and legitimately powerful questions when coping with infidelity.

Part of the task is identifying the markers along the way that tell you when the relationship is beyond repair.

Read this case study:

My wifes father died of cancer 30 days following diagnosis. She spent these days renewing a past friendship with her step brother, that eventually turned to a relationship where she came to me 6 months later to acknowledge she loves him. My immediate response was to close the door, that this was not repairable with her family and all. She begged me to hang in there and give her time to sort these feelings out. I decided to do this based on some understanding I had from your book. I did everything I could to “backoff” and give her the space she needed to sort herself out for 8 weeks. Following that I was getting very tired of the roller coaster weeks and knowing that every step forward she would make toward us, she would take two steps backward for him. I’ve felt like I am the only person actually trying to work on this. I made a decision then to allow her some additional time to allow us the opportunity to sort our finances in the even of a divorce and with that we talked allot better. She told me she was planning to fly and see him (he lives 1500 miles away) and I told her this was unacceptable and too painful for me to even comprehend. She went in spite of my feelings and following the weekend, I determined it needed to end. My closure has come from the question I asked her “will you ever be able to end this with him?” – she could not answer this question. I honestly believe I have done everything I could within my will to try and save what I felt was a great marriage with some issues. We are getting ready to meet for a final “get on the same page” meeting, and all I can still think about is ways to save this marriage. I cant help but feel this relationship originated for wrong reasons based on her love for him as a brother, but know now that her decision to fly and see him in spite of my knowing and hurt is bigger than a case of misguided feelings through the course of grieving a father. I know this has little to do with your question, but I felt like telling the story. Thanks for your help.