Jealousy in Marriage: Healing After An Affair

November 2, 2012 by 7 Comments

How do you let go of jealousy in marriage after an affair? Is it even possible to let your suspicions when  infidelity is involved?

Jealousy in marriage is very common when you decide to stay in a marriage to restore it when you discover that your partner is having an affair. And even for couples who had no problems regarding jealousy before the affair, it is very likely that it will be after an affair is discovered.

A lot of damage can be done in a relationship where jealousy is involved, especially one that’s still going through the process of healing after an affair. But it is difficult not to be paranoid regarding the people that your partner spends a lot of time with. So what can you do to if you are experiencing jealousy in marriage?

The first things you need to do is to reflect on the various things that you have gone through by allowing jealousy in marriage get the better of you. Surely there are a lot of painful and negative effects, mostly on your marriage, but thinking of these effects is the most effective first step to stop letting jealousy in marriage prevent you from healing your relationship after an affair.

Also, you might start thinking that you’ve earned the right to be jealous when your husband or wife started being involved in an affair, but you must let go of that pain and really look at what jealousy in marriage is doing to you and your partner’s bond.

Every time you start to feel jealous of someone in your partner’s life, try to see how it affects your emotional as well as your physical body. You will see that jealousy in marriage only makes that pain you are feeling after an affair hurt that much more, and make you that much angrier about what your partner did.

Filed Under: After the Affair, Infidelity Decisions, Infidelity Fears, Infidelity Help, Marriage Makeover, Relationships: Marriage, Surviving Infidelity Tagged With: , , ,

Mid-Life Crisis in Marriages: Stop Infidelity Before It Happens

October 25, 2012 by Leave a Comment

When you feel threatened by the prospect of your partner having an extramarital affair while he or she is going through a mid-life crisis, what can you do to shift his or her view of life to be able to stop infidelity before it even happens?

A lot of people have trouble going back to believing that their lives are great when they are going through a mid-life crisis. And for most people, the thing in their lives they question the most is their marriages. They tend to see their lives as a routine of getting up, going to work, going home and sleeping. And they get tired of it.

So how do you keep yourself from getting bored of your own life and avoiding making decisions that can potentially destroy everything in it like your relationships with other people, your job and everything else? And most especially, how do you stop infidelity from even going through your mind?

The number one thing that you need to do to stop infidelity from happening in your marriage is to look for something that will make you feel alive again. Find something that you’re interested in and do it. Something that will get you excited, something that will make you feel happy, something will make you appreciate everything you have.

Is there a particular hobby or activity that you’re interested in pursuing? Have you been curious about something that you wanted to learn about and try? Maybe you’re interested in learning how to cook or bake, or maybe you’re interested in taking up photography. Are you good at fixing up cars? Maybe you could try restoring one. Go out fishing with your friends, or play golf. Take up ballroom dancing or boxing or surfing. Just look for something that will make you feel good about yourself and appreciate the things that you have.

When you’ve discovered what it is that makes you feel happy and alive again, it serves more than just a distraction that will allow you to stop infidelity. It gives you something to look forward to,  something to appreciate, something make you happy.

So share it with your partner and your family. Do not be ashamed to tell them about it and how it makes you feel. If your partner wants to, you could even try doing it together as something that is just for the two of you. And if he or she does not want to, then that’s okay, too. But do not let the fear of your partner not finding it interesting prevent you from telling him or her about it.

This happens a lot with couples who are going through problems in their marriage. When one person finds something interesting that makes him or her feel better about the relationship, he or she tends to hide from the other one and it causes doubt and mistrust. So rather than having your partner suspect you of having an affair or something as bad as that, just tell him or her about the changes you are going through. This creates a more open relationship and stronger intimacy between the two of you, which also helps to stop infidelity from ever occurring in your marriage.

And though this is not the ultimate solution to stop infidelity and cure every marital problem, it does help the two of  you maintain a strong, loving bond based on honesty and trust.

Filed Under: Infidelity Decisions, Infidelity Fears, Infidelity Help, Marriage Makeover, Relationship Tips, Stopping the Affair Tagged With: , , ,

Healing After Divorce: Taking Care of Your Whole Self

October 16, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Healing after divorce is a difficult process, one that needs focus and attention for it to really work. So what exactly are the things that you need to focus on and pay attention to?

People who go through difficult experiences think that to get through a difficult or trying crisis, you need to focus on healing your soul or emotional self, that you need to find a way to get over feeling all the things you are feeling. And when you do, that would be the end of that. But most tend to forget that it isn’t just your emotions that need attention, especially when it comes to healing after divorce. Your physical life and your physical body need it, too.

Your body does not just function as a unit that will represent you in the world. It is what holds all of who you are – your feelings, thoughts, habits, mannerisms, and everything else – together, and it is the one thing that knows who you are truly and completely.

It’s the reason you can feel joy and happiness, the reason you can enjoy a good moment in life and celebrate it. And it is also what makes you feel pain and suffering in situations that aren’t good, and allows you to grieve any kind of loss like if you are healing after divorce, be it physically or emotionally.

One of the most common and simple losses we suffer through these days is a break up with someone we’re in a relationship with or a divorce. Going through crises like these affects us both physically and emotionally, and it is only right that when we are healing after divorce, that we do so in both aspects.

There’s no question about how healing after divorce hurts us on the inside. Everyone knows how painful it can be to end a relationship with someone we spent so much time with and with whom we made future plans with. But then most of us have a tendency to ignore our concrete, physical world when this happens. We forget to eat properly or get some exercise done, we forget to make an effort with how we look or dress, we neglect our work and become unproductive, and sometimes we forget our other relationships – with our friends and family and children.

So if you are one of the many people who are healing after divorce, keep in mind that there are two sides that need to healed: your inner and outer lives. Understand the things you are feelings, where they are coming from and why, and figure out a way that will allow you to get over them. But remember to never neglect your outer world or your outer life when healing after divorce, especially your relationships with other people.

Filed Under: After the Affair, Infidelity Coaching, Infidelity Decisions, Infidelity Fears, Infidelity Help, Infidelity Impact, Marriage Makeover, Personal stuff, Recovery From Infidelity, Relationship Tips, Relationships: Marriage, Surviving Infidelity Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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