Healing After Divorce: Taking Care of Your Whole Self

October 16, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Healing after divorce is a difficult process, one that needs focus and attention for it to really work. So what exactly are the things that you need to focus on and pay attention to?

People who go through difficult experiences think that to get through a difficult or trying crisis, you need to focus on healing your soul or emotional self, that you need to find a way to get over feeling all the things you are feeling. And when you do, that would be the end of that. But most tend to forget that it isn’t just your emotions that need attention, especially when it comes to healing after divorce. Your physical life and your physical body need it, too.

Your body does not just function as a unit that will represent you in the world. It is what holds all of who you are – your feelings, thoughts, habits, mannerisms, and everything else – together, and it is the one thing that knows who you are truly and completely.

It’s the reason you can feel joy and happiness, the reason you can enjoy a good moment in life and celebrate it. And it is also what makes you feel pain and suffering in situations that aren’t good, and allows you to grieve any kind of loss like if you are healing after divorce, be it physically or emotionally.

One of the most common and simple losses we suffer through these days is a break up with someone we’re in a relationship with or a divorce. Going through crises like these affects us both physically and emotionally, and it is only right that when we are healing after divorce, that we do so in both aspects.

There’s no question about how healing after divorce hurts us on the inside. Everyone knows how painful it can be to end a relationship with someone we spent so much time with and with whom we made future plans with. But then most of us have a tendency to ignore our concrete, physical world when this happens. We forget to eat properly or get some exercise done, we forget to make an effort with how we look or dress, we neglect our work and become unproductive, and sometimes we forget our other relationships – with our friends and family and children.

So if you are one of the many people who are healing after divorce, keep in mind that there are two sides that need to healed: your inner and outer lives. Understand the things you are feelings, where they are coming from and why, and figure out a way that will allow you to get over them. But remember to never neglect your outer world or your outer life when healing after divorce, especially your relationships with other people.

Filed Under: After the Affair, Infidelity Coaching, Infidelity Decisions, Infidelity Fears, Infidelity Help, Infidelity Impact, Marriage Makeover, Personal stuff, Recovery From Infidelity, Relationship Tips, Relationships: Marriage, Surviving Infidelity Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Save Your Marriage: Seven Tactics that will Stop the Affair

September 25, 2012 by 2 Comments

If you find out that your spouse is having an affair, and you want to stop it to save your marriage, here are seven powerful tactics that will surely give you the results you want.

Stopping an affair to save your marriage is not an easy feat. And even with these tactics at your disposal, you will still face difficulties with confronting your spouse with his or her affair. But the beauty of these seven tactics is that it will guarantee results for any of the seven different types of affairs. Of course, if your spouse is acting on addictive impulses or is an incessant cheater, these may not be as effective, but if you decide that you still want to try to save the marriage, then these tactics are still worth a try.

These tactics require a lot in order for them to work. You need to be focused and dedicated to follow through with them once you start. Doing these tactics require strength and control if you want to save your marriage. You cannot break down on the first sign of problems or trouble. You will need to control your feelings and emotions, and this is hard to do especially upon discovering the affair in the first place.

This will be the hardest and most painful time you will have in this whole experience. And if you think that you are not strong enough, you will need to build your strength and confidence before attempting to try these tactics. Don’t beat yourself up if you aren’t at that place yet. Don’t think that you are weak for needing time to get yourself ready. There’s nothing wrong with being confused, hurt, devastated and lost. These feelings are normal and be assured that you are not alone in feeling like this upon the discovery of an affair. What you need to remind yourself of is that you will be able to get through this and save your marriage.

Another thing you need to remember is that these tactics are not manipulative strategies to be used to change your spouse’s actions and behavior. If this is your motive in practicing these tactics, your husband or wife will surely be able to see right through it and will try to get back at you in whatever way he or she thinks is right.

The reason you are doing this is because you want to save your marriage and because you think that this is the right thing to do, not only for yourself but for your partner, your children and your marriage as well.

Do you think you’re ready to get your marriage back and work through your spouse’s infidelity? Tune in for the second part of this post to find out what those seven tactics are, and save your marriage!

Filed Under: After the Affair, Infidelity and Tolerations, Infidelity Coaching, Infidelity Decisions, Infidelity Fears, Infidelity Help, Infidelity Impact, Marriage Makeover, Recovery From Infidelity, Relationship Tips, Relationships: Marriage, Stopping the Affair, Surviving Infidelity Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Emotional Affairs: What Are the Clues?

September 6, 2012 by Leave a Comment

What do you need to watch out for when you suspect that your partner is having an emotional affair with someone?

The following is a compilation of information gathered from the comments on the newsletter received by our subscribers – men and women –  who have experienced and observed the changes in their partners as they went through emotional affairs, as well as from their emails and responses to the various articles and blogs posted on our website.

And here is what they had this to say about clues to emotional affairs:

1. My husband started coming home late a lot. (This is one of the most common clues of emotional affairs.)

2. Our sex life changed. It wasn’t what it used to be.

3. We started having fights and arguments over little things.

4. I noticed that she pulls away when I try to kiss her or touch her.

5. She started to make more of an effort with her appearance and clothing for work.

6. Another common clue of emotional affairs that almost everyone experienced: He would get phone calls late at night and he would always answer them in a different room. The calls usually lasted for hours.

7. He set up a password on his computer, and there were files that I couldn’t view.

8. My wife always had excuses to get out of the house, usually at nights and during the weekends.

9. He suddenly started to work more and more, or always had a work-related outing he had to go to.

10. I was shocked when he said all of a sudden that he “cares for me a lot but isn’t in love with me anymore.”

So have you experienced any of these things recently from your partner? Or is he or she doing something else that you just find odd? What other clues of emotional affairs can you add to the list that you think is important and that people have to watch out for? And what should you do when you notice these changes from your partner? Don’t hesitate to leave your comments or thoughts.

Filed Under: Extramarital Affair Types, Infidelity and Tolerations, Infidelity Decisions, Infidelity Fears, Infidelity Help, Marriage Makeover, Recovery From Infidelity, Relationship Tips, Relationships: Marriage, Surviving Infidelity Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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