Mid-Life Crisis in Marriages: Stop Infidelity Before It Happens

October 25, 2012 by Leave a Comment

When you feel threatened by the prospect of your partner having an extramarital affair while he or she is going through a mid-life crisis, what can you do to shift his or her view of life to be able to stop infidelity before it even happens?

A lot of people have trouble going back to believing that their lives are great when they are going through a mid-life crisis. And for most people, the thing in their lives they question the most is their marriages. They tend to see their lives as a routine of getting up, going to work, going home and sleeping. And they get tired of it.

So how do you keep yourself from getting bored of your own life and avoiding making decisions that can potentially destroy everything in it like your relationships with other people, your job and everything else? And most especially, how do you stop infidelity from even going through your mind?

The number one thing that you need to do to stop infidelity from happening in your marriage is to look for something that will make you feel alive again. Find something that you’re interested in and do it. Something that will get you excited, something that will make you feel happy, something will make you appreciate everything you have.

Is there a particular hobby or activity that you’re interested in pursuing? Have you been curious about something that you wanted to learn about and try? Maybe you’re interested in learning how to cook or bake, or maybe you’re interested in taking up photography. Are you good at fixing up cars? Maybe you could try restoring one. Go out fishing with your friends, or play golf. Take up ballroom dancing or boxing or surfing. Just look for something that will make you feel good about yourself and appreciate the things that you have.

When you’ve discovered what it is that makes you feel happy and alive again, it serves more than just a distraction that will allow you to stop infidelity. It gives you something to look forward to,  something to appreciate, something make you happy.

So share it with your partner and your family. Do not be ashamed to tell them about it and how it makes you feel. If your partner wants to, you could even try doing it together as something that is just for the two of you. And if he or she does not want to, then that’s okay, too. But do not let the fear of your partner not finding it interesting prevent you from telling him or her about it.

This happens a lot with couples who are going through problems in their marriage. When one person finds something interesting that makes him or her feel better about the relationship, he or she tends to hide from the other one and it causes doubt and mistrust. So rather than having your partner suspect you of having an affair or something as bad as that, just tell him or her about the changes you are going through. This creates a more open relationship and stronger intimacy between the two of you, which also helps to stop infidelity from ever occurring in your marriage.

And though this is not the ultimate solution to stop infidelity and cure every marital problem, it does help the two of  you maintain a strong, loving bond based on honesty and trust.

Filed Under: Infidelity Decisions, Infidelity Fears, Infidelity Help, Marriage Makeover, Relationship Tips, Stopping the Affair Tagged With: , , ,

Extramarital Affair and Mid-life Crisis: How It Happens

October 23, 2012 by 6 Comments

When a person experiences a mid-life crisis, does it always mean the potential for an extramarital affair? And will it always lead to that?

We all know what a mid-life crisis is. Some of us have even experienced it first-hand. For a lot of us, a mid-life crisis affects how we perceive our lives and the way we make decisions. And when it comes to our relationships, we tend to question whether or not we are with the person we’re supposed to be with, which usually leads to us making bad decisions.

For every relationship, there is always a chance that an extramarital affair will happen. No matter how strong a relationship you think you have. And when your partner is going through a mid-life crisis and is questioning every decision he or she has ever made, including your relationship, the chance of infidelity increases.

So how do you prevent your partner from having an extramarital affair even before it takes place?

It will be difficult for you to control what your partner thinks and does regarding his or her life, but what you can control is how you act in your relationship. It is important that you make your partner feel safe and secure about his or her decisions, especially regarding your relationship. Picking fights, generating arguments or getting mad for little things will not help you in this regard, and will make it more likely for your partner to consider an extramarital affair. You need to show your partner that he or she is welcome in the home you built and that you are there to support him or her through whatever is going on in his or her life.

Creating a safe and loving relationship is key. Strengthen your bond and rekindle the passion you had when you first got together. If you are rebuilding your relationship because of a big fight or falling out, remember the things that you love most about each other and remind yourselves of the good times you had. Think of the things you’ve learned, given and done for each other that you would not have experienced with other people, and keep your marriage from being touched by an extramarital affair.

Filed Under: Infidelity Fears, Marriage Makeover, Relationship Tips, Stopping the Affair Tagged With: , , ,

Letting Go of Old Resentments to Save the Marriage and Yourself

October 4, 2012 by Leave a Comment

There are plenty of people who go through their lives without really sorting out their problems and old resentments. They ignore the importance of resolving these problems before moving on with their lives, and downplay how these problems affect them.

This can be very evident in couples who are trying to patch things up in their marriage after infidelity. Couples who decide to “forget about everything and just start over” usually don’t go anywhere. In most cases, what happens is that all the old resentments and problems that they encountered in their past go with them to the new relationship they’re trying to build and it all happens all over again. When nothing is resolved, everything will remain the same even if you decide to let go of your past. This is what Stephen Covey meant when he said that “old resentments never die.”

It doesn’t even necessarily have to happen with the same person who you have problems with. There are those who are either separated or divorced from their spouses who take these old resentments with them in their new relationships with other people. Although the details or specifics are not exactly the same, there could be similarities with the circumstances that could be related specifically to the past.

So how do you stop yourself from hanging onto old resentments?

First of all, you need to identify what it is that makes you remember those problems and all the negative feelings associated with them. Whenever you start getting that bad feeling or are reminded of those old resentments, try to notice what it is that triggered it – who made it happen, when, and what events or circumstances led you to feeling that way? Identifying the problem is the first step to solving it. Look into yourself and try to get as specific as possible with regards to these triggers.

Once you know what those triggers and other details are, compare the differences of the circumstances of the past and the present. What happened in the past that created these problems and issues in you? Why are these old resentments bothering you now? Should they still be bothering you now? What’s different from now and then? Knowing the difference of what was in the past and what is in the present is a vital key in resolving these issues.

One more important thing that you have to deal with is to forgive the person who caused these issues and old resentments in the first place. You won’t ever be able to truly move forward with your life and into a new relationship if you continue to hold a grudge against the person who hurt you. Accept that all the things you went through with that person occurred and are a part of your life, and that you can’t change any of them. Learn from these experiences and forgive the ones that hurt you in any way. Only then will you be able to really let go of your old resentments and open yourself up to a new relationship and a new life.

Filed Under: After the Affair, Infidelity and Tolerations, Infidelity Coaching, Infidelity Decisions, Infidelity Help, Marriage Makeover, Recovery From Infidelity, Relationship Tips, Relationships: Marriage, Stopping the Affair, Surviving Infidelity Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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