Case study:
He as left the home after she discovered the infidelity. He initially declared he wanted a divorce, but later backed down.
She is “holding the fort” together and he is basically an emotional mess. (Affair #6: I need to prove my desirability.”) He non-verbally expresses guilt and “freezes” emotionally when together.
She wants to save the marriage and has been a pursuer, trying to get him to “open up.”
He appears to be overwhelmed by her verbosity, her questions and her need to have him end the affair and come home.
Suggestions: The strategy is to make short but powerful, non-threatening comments that initiate movement in the relationship. She can make short, concise meta comments: “We are stuck.” “This is awful for both of us, is is not?” I wonder how this will end?” “I wonder when our pain will fade…” “This is a long painful process for both of us.”
Make the comments, back away and observe the response. Notice any shifts or movement.
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Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach
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This entry was posted by Dr. Bob Huizenga on Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009 at 10:55 am and is filed under Infidelity Coaching. You may follow any responses to this entry through the RSS/XML feed. You may leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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