Healing from infidelity is a journey. For those who continue to recycle the same patterns in their life it usually takes 2-4 years to feel the pain ease.

For those who learn and embrace the challenge, it takes much less time.

Here are some comments from those who are learning:

It is helpful to know that you are not alone, that many, way too many people experience this horrible horrible pain. It is true, though, you do need to better yourself for you and only you. It is very hard to let go, but it is nice to know that you can recover and come out better for it. I have only just begun my recovery, but ever day even though it’s just baby steps, I feel a little stronger. I try to keep busy and stay positive. I know now that there is better out there for me, even if it means facing the future alone. I have accepted that it was he that stepped out of our marriage, not me. I am accountable only for my own behavior. I can change no one but me. I wouldn’t want to change anyone else! They will have to answer for their own behavior and injustices. I feel a little stronger and a little more positive everyday. Thank you, you have been an inspiration.

I’ve learned that we have choices. We can either stay in a relationship where there is no trust, or we can get out.. Too often we are made to feel like it is our fault that our spouses had and affair.. The truth is it is not. They too had a choice to make and they chose to have an affair and when the get caught, they want to shift the blame and to justify their affair.. Learn to say it is their problem not yours.. Don’t take on their problem and make it yours. there is no relationship where there is no trust.

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This entry was posted by Dr. Bob Huizenga on Tuesday, July 14th, 2009 at 8:58 am and is filed under recovery from infidelity. You may follow any responses to this entry through the RSS/XML feed. You may leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

This entry has been tagged with the following keywords: recovery from infidelity, healing from infidelity, effects of infidelity, marriage infidelity, extramarital affairs, marital infidelity.