Where do you draw the line when a cheating spouse seems mired in a pattern of denial and disregard?
Read this case study:
1. What in the way of disrespect, blame, criticism and/or abuse are you facing?
I think the biggest example of disrespect was the fact that he refused to acknowledge the affair. Although I had tons of physical evidence (and he knew that) and through lots of late night research and searching found irrefutable evidence that the affair was only one of many – to this day, over three years since the divorce – he has not acknowledged any infidelity. He is actually making overtures of “friendship”. It was and is an insult to my intelligence. I guess he thought that if he denied it (which he did, over and over again!) it might just “go away”.
2. What has worked best for you in stopping or tolerating less and less of these destructive behaviors?
As in most issues involving infidelity/divorce I think time is the greatest healer. In the beginning the hurt was at times overwhelming and truthfully the only thing that kept me putting one foot in front of the other was my kids. For me there was one solution and one solution ONLY – divorce. Once I found out for sure what was going on there was no looking back, so I didn’t tolerate any more of his destructive behaviors. I concentrated on things that had to be done and tried to accomplish them as best I could. Divorce is so devastating in general, and mine was extremely so – not because either of us ever turned back, but because my former husband was obsessed with the idea that I might somehow be able to “get more than my share”. We had been married nearly 28 years when I found out he was having an affair – one of many.
Related posts:
- Infidelity Q&A #17: How Much Do I Tolerate and for How Long? Find out if you are tolerating too much from your...
Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.
 |
Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you and |
This entry was posted by Dr. Bob Huizenga on Thursday, July 9th, 2009 at 8:04 am and is filed under Infidelity and Tolerations. You may follow any responses to this entry through the RSS/XML feed. You may leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
This entry has been tagged with the following 
keywords:
None.
July 9th, 2009 at 7:56 pm
Allowing yourself time to recover and regain your bearings is essential. Confronting the other woman was not effective for me. She did not offer the opportunity to meet in person, she presented herslf as the injured party and she certainly felt no guilt or remorse. Their relationship was indivudally self-centered and created mutual disregard to their respective partners and families.
I felt that their continued relationship was equal to a baseball bat being swung at me from behind. They rationalized their employment as an excuse to maintain an emotional attachment for 2 years. I am looking forward to a new stage of our relationship with them not working together. My husband lost his job 2 months age. I celebrate his chance to find a career opportunity that he will completely enjoy! I hope that they each are able to find whatever is lost within themselves to be able to rebuild their marriages. If either of them determines that their marriage is not what they truly desire, I hope they are able to be completely honest and walk away. I love my husband with all of my heart and I want for him to be happy with his life. I want to be standing beside him encouraging him and sharing a new opporunity toward finding happiness.