Affair # 6 in my ebook is: “I Need to Prove My Desirability.”

Such an affair often emerges when a person has a history of sexual abuse.

Read this case study of how the identification of this type of affair helped this couple:

1. How has this E-course helped you change the way you feel, think and act as you face infidelity. Give examples, if you can.

It helped me fully understand that its not my fault. While I contributed to the failed marriage in many ways, the real problem is with my spouse. Funny, we naturally tended to follow your course of action, no counseling, no church, etc. We worked on our marriage and broke down the communication barriers. It has been almost a year now. The biggest breakthrough was identifying the type of affair. It explained it all to both of us, and really helped my wife seek a path of healing. She’s very broken from childhood sex abuse by her father. I knew about it at the very beginning of our relationship, however I had no idea how it could or would impact us.

2. What unanswered questions do you have at this point as you cope with infidelity?

I still have pain in the memory, not sure how to deal with that. I still don’t trust even though she has shown to be trustworthy. But she did it twice with an 8 year span between. I don’t know how to tell if she’s needing outside stimulus again, or if she will seek an emotional connection with someone else. She is the type 6 affair – “I need to prove my desirability”. Her father ruined her self esteem. The biggest growth came when she made a decision not to be a victim any more, but to be a survivor.

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This entry was posted by Dr. Bob Huizenga on Tuesday, July 7th, 2009 at 3:57 pm and is filed under Extramarital Affair Types. You may follow any responses to this entry through the RSS/XML feed. You may leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

This entry has been tagged with the following keywords: infidelity and sexual abuse, healing from infidelity, recovery from infidelity, healing from the affair, sexual abuse and the affair.