Through others similar experiences and comments perhaps as part of my own healing process I can understand more about what transpires in these situations and discover why my husband couldn’t simply leave the affair? The obvious answer is the fact that he was at risk of losing his teaching jpb and that he had clearly crossed the line. My son and I were the likely choice to get rid of — after all I had just finished a PhD — which in my mind led to all of this — I left him alone for weeks at a time while I finished my program in another state. He felt abandoned and lonely. He had an affair with a cheerleader which destroyed our family.