Even after hearing about the impact of infidelity from literally thousands of people, I still continue to be amazed at the power of infidelity to stir up pain, fear, humiliation and more.

I asked my readers about the impact of infidelity on their lives. Where they begin from at the moment of discovery. Here are some comments:

I constantly think about the affair. I can’t shake the thoughts. I find myself thinking alot more and trying to analyze the whole situation. My time is spent mostly working or sitting staring off into space thinking and trying to deal with it the best way I know how. I have a lower self esteem because of the affair, as I feel that I am not good enough for him any more, and that he is in search of something better. I have many feelings that I never had before, such as, hatred, and jealousy to name just a couple. I have a lot of hate for the other woman, so much so, that it scares me! I love my husband very much, but I hate what he did to us!!!

At first, it made me think that I was not good enough for my husband of 19 years. However, I have realized that I deserve better than what he has given me. I now think that what I once thought was safe and sacred is always going to be at risk now. I constantly worry if it will happen again. Now I spend my time concentrating on my boys and myself. I don’t have time or energy to dissect all of his moods and actions. So, I try to move on and do the best I can with what is left of my dignity.

I do not trust anyone now. I look for the lie no matter who is doing the talking, I question everything. I pay better attention to detail. Always on the lookout, not sure what I am looking for just always looking. And waiting for an answer a clie like you said I have tried it all over the last 4 years. Have been divorced for 2 years but we are still in limbo for some reason. The Lies have changed me! I try to spend my time for me but he always creeps into whateber I do. Where he is What hes doing …. I stay home alot never use to. Lost most of my friends and family over his affair. It just doesn’t stop.

I no longer believe in anything that I once did including God. I feel fat, dumpy, old and without any hope of change. No matter what I have done, i.e.lose weight, work out, more open, he continues to see her and to lie about it. I feel betrayed and devastated by his choice to have an affair rather than talk about his issues with our marriage.

I think about his history with me and how I can probably never trust him I am doing positive things for myself -losing weight, having my hair done more, nails done, personal improvements. I am not quiting my job I am spending less time with others and devoting more time to us time I was doing more for him but he did not respond by doing more for me, so I’ve stopped we have plans to re new our vows in several weeks but I am not sure he is really into it as I am, but he is going to do it he won’t tell me anymore about the other person except that it is over & I should not worry I could go on.

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This entry was posted by Dr. Bob Huizenga on Tuesday, March 10th, 2009 at 8:17 am and is filed under Infidelity Impact. You may follow any responses to this entry through the RSS/XML feed. You may leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

This entry has been tagged with the following keywords: power of infidelity, humiliation of infidelity, coping with infidelity, marital infidelity, marriage infidelity, effects of infidelity, extramarital affairs, emotional infidelity, surviving infidelity, emotional affair.