The shotgun approach or throw something against the wall to see what sticks are problem solving strategies that are problematic for facing infidelity.

For one thing, time is a premium. The intensity of the pain and agony cries out to be addressed right now. Stopping the affair is a priority right NOW!

So, where does one begin and what strategies should one use when discovering infidelity?

You save time, agony and confusion by knowing what your target is and what you must do to hit that specific target.

I’ve outlined 7 unique types of affairs and have specific strategies for each kind of affair. Blasting away won’t work. But, surgically approaching your spouse and the infidelity with a sharp scalpel (I’m not sure I like this metaphor.. but.. you get the point!) saves time and headaches.

Here’s what one reader said:

“It (Break Free From the Affair) made me realize that the steps I was now taking (after three years of ‘fighting’) were actually supported by your tips in this book. The categorization of the 7 kinds of affairs was extremely helpful. I have now given up on ‘techniques’ that do not work for this kind of affair and have intensified the other techniques. IT WORKS! And more important: I AM FEELING BETTER, regardless of where the affair or my marriage is going!”

Surviving an affair means a person will make internal shifts in the way one thinks about him/her self and the spouse.

Perspectives will change. This change may be an “aha” moment or may emerge over time.

These are often life-altering shifts that stay with a person for a lifetime and open new avenues of awareness, joy and personal productivity.

Here’s what one person says:

It (reading Break Free From the Affair) gave me a wider perspective on the problem, made me realize there was nothing wrong with me, personally, and allowed me to extract myself from the predictable and destructive cycle of questioning (seeing to punish and bolster my own confidence, rather than get to the real problem. Once I realized the problem and mistake were hers, it helped me get a grip on things and move forward. It also helped me to see that my marriage was something worth saving.

Surviving the affair often seems like a daunting task upon the first few days of discovery. And, it is.

The affair hits below the belt and we are shocked, confused, etc.

Read what these two people did to survive the affair:

It has now been 6 months. After the dust settled I asked all the questions I need answers to. We decided we wanted to stay married & sought counseling right away. I made certain rules for him to abide by. He became totally transparent. I had access to everything I needed, computer, cell phone, ALL credit & bank statements. He stayed home, unless I knew exactly where he was. This started to restore the trust I had lost. We opened up more & talked more. This started the healing process. We began having “dates” & doing more together as a couple. If anything, this whole earth shattering experience has made us closer, we appreciate each other more than we have in years. The pain remains, but gets better every day. There is hope and a way to survive.

It was a week before I gave birth to our first child when I found out. It was extremely painful and having a new baby to take care of was the only thing that kept me grounded and able to function.