Some use confronting the other person to spy and gain information for the future, as in this case study:

1. What was your purpose for confronting the OP and what did you say/do?

Called him in his far-away city. Purpose: Record conversation for an alienation of affection lawsuit. “Marriage Made Me Do It” type of affair. Asked what he thought was going to happen to my kids when I found out about the affair.

2. What happened? What was the outcome?

He told me to “get over it, dude”. He insincerely apologized. He said it was his fault. He said they didn’t have sex. He said that because they didn’t have sex it wasn’t an affair.

3. If you were to do it again, would you do it differently? What did you learn?

I learned that he is a pompous narcissistic asshole who is willing to cheat on his wife, and my wife doesn’t see that. To do differently- probably nothing else. 20 minutes of him incriminating himself was enough along with the other evidence.

Coach’s Comments:

1. It is common for someone who blames their marriage for the infidelity to fall for a narcissist. The narcissist projects power and can adapt him/herself to fit the expectations of the “My Marriage Made Me Do It” person. This is the art of seduction. Once s/he scores, it’s usually over.

2. I’m not an expert on spying, but it seems that a direct confrontation with the other person is a risky way to obtain information, unless the attorney briefed him on what to do. A PI usually has more experience in such matters.

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This entry was posted by Dr. Bob Huizenga on Saturday, December 27th, 2008 at 9:49 am and is filed under Confronting the Other Person. You may follow any responses to this entry through the RSS/XML feed. You may leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

This entry has been tagged with the following keywords: confronting the other man, infidelity and spying, marital infidelity, coping with infidelity, marriage infidelity, effects of infidelity, extramarital affairs, emotional infidelity, surviving infidelity, emotional affair.