I’ve been doing much research on what someone facing infidelity tolerates in an extramarital affair.

How one deals with those tolerations and stops putting up with so much hinges on a skill I teach called: Charging Neutral.

Here’s a great example:

1. Tell me your story. How have you used “Charging Neutral” and tell me exactly what happened?

It has been about two months since I found out about my husbands six month affair. At first I was really angry and went through a lot of different stages to get to where I am now. I began “charging Neutral” and didn’t even realize it. My husband and I talk a lot now, almost everyday about the affair. I feel no hate, malice or anger to him or the op for what has happened now. In the beginning I felt I needed to prove that I was the better choice but I quickly realized I didn’t need to do that because he would not have come home if he didn’t believe this himself. He now feels free to talk about anything he remembers at anytime and knows that i’ll not get angry or feel hurt because this is something that has already happened and he already acknowledges he completely hurt and disrespected me in the worst way so it doesn’t need to be said anymore. I quite agree it is one of the best ways in beginning to heal even if we find we can’t stay in the marriage anymore we will at least be friends again. And that’s important for the kids.

Please remember that using charging neutral also depends to a great extent on the kind or type of extramarital affair facing you.

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This entry was posted by Dr. Bob Huizenga on Monday, November 10th, 2008 at 10:08 am and is filed under Infidelity Help. You may follow any responses to this entry through the RSS/XML feed. You may leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

This entry has been tagged with the following keywords: type of extramarital affair, anger and infidelity, marital infidelity, coping with infidelity, marriage infidelity, effects of infidelity, extramarital affairs, emotional infidelity, surviving infidelity, emotional affair.