Living with infidelity or the aftermath of infidelity can be hell (hope the word doesn’t offend you here, but it often seems an appropriate word for infidelity.)
The need to hold the marriage, family, children, lifestyle together is so strong for some that they tolerate or put up with a great deal.
I’m researching what is put up with and working toward strategies and tactics to break free and put up with less.
Here’s a question and responses:
1. What are the 5 top things you presently are tolerating or putting up with as you face infidelity?
>>>>>manipulation of money, his ability to lead a carefree life, irresponsibility, immaturity, disrespectful language towards others
>>>>>Texting He has a baby with her…visiting her. leaving without telling me where he is going He pays for her cell phone his coldness
>>>>>dishonesty after 33 years of marriage is horrible, not being able to trust your wife when she looks you in the eye and lies to your face about her affair being either the emotional or physical aspect.
>>>>>no more I love yous, no more sex, ignoring me, telling me he doesn’t think we are compatible, telling me I trapped him, this isn’t his first affair, he has had at least 3 that I know of, he says he’s here for the kids.
>>>>>always puts me down lumps me in with other people always on computer keeps phone and purse close by accuses of being nosy doesn’t return love
>>>>>Continued contact by email and Ichat with the op. Continued small details that connect her to him like her keeping up a blog - something he is really into and something she never was before. the fact she has poured herself into work since “stopping all contact”with him - working later….(he lives in another city). Wondering what is really going on in life, feeling like her second choice and only because of his distance that our marriage has survived at all.
>>>>>1)Putting up with his response of:”It had nothing to do with you, it was me” 2)Putting up “I don’t remember” when questions are asked. 3) When he doesn’t want to respond he gets angry and thinks I’m just going to walk away so he won’t have to answer. 4)Never ever believing I will ever trust again since he has had multiple affairs with no intercourse 5)Tolerating that he says he loves me but I just really don’t know. Told me often but look what he has done over and over again.
Want to talk to others about what you put up with and how you want to break free? Visit the chat room.
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Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach
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This entry was posted by Dr. Bob Huizenga on Monday, October 6th, 2008 at 9:46 am and is filed under Infidelity and Tolerations. You may follow any responses to this entry through the RSS/XML feed. You may leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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tolerations, putting up with with, infidelity abuse, marital infidelity, coping with infidelity, marriage infidelity, effects of infidelity, extramarital affairs, surviving infidelity, emotional infidelity, emotional affair.
