I’m continually amazed with the comments I receive about the results of charging neutral – one of my core skills taught in “Break Free From the Affair.”
This person found it extremely helpful in confronting the other person.

What was your purpose for confronting the OP and what did you say/do?

To warn her about my spouse telling untrue stories about me. I collected her phone nos from my spouse and called her.

2. What happened? What was the outcome?

When I spoke with her on the phone, She denied having an affair with my husband while admitting that he actually made advances with the aim of having an affair.

3. If you were to do it again, would you do it differently? What did you learn?

I would not bother to call as I later discovered that she reported all my phone conversations with her to my husband. I learned that it is most effective to charge neutral when you discover that your spouse is having a affair.

Coach’s Comments:

1. Here is an ever present danger of confronting the OP, if they are involved in “I Fell out of Love…and just love being in love” affair – it juices the affair relationship. It keeps it going. It gives it more fuel to burn.

2. Charging neutral puts you in a position of power and will give you the most influence. Don’t we appreciate and admire those who fail to be “game players,” who speak the truth eloquently, quietly, powerfully. It’s like you’ve been struck at your deepest level and you have no recourse but to accept it.

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This entry was posted by Dr. Bob Huizenga on Sunday, October 5th, 2008 at 9:33 am and is filed under Confronting the Other Person. You may follow any responses to this entry through the RSS/XML feed. You may leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

This entry has been tagged with the following keywords: infidelity and game playing, confronting the other woman, marital infidelity, coping with infidelity, effects of infidelity, marriage infidelity, extramarital affairs, emotional infidelity, surviving infidelity, emotional affair.