The dilemma of finding the truth is expressed in this scenario of “Confronting the Other Person:”
1. What was your purpose for confronting the OP and what did you say/do?
When I confronted my husband with evidence that there was someone else I knew he was lying about who and how long. I called her in front of him to confirm his story.
2. What happened? What was the outcome?
Initially she pleaded the 5th, “were just friends”. I calmly spoke to her about my life, how many children I have, she then saw how he was lying to her as well. I got the truth – a long 8 year relationship that resulted in her own divorce. My husband finally admitted it all, and his tune changed. He became desperate to save our marriage.
3. If you were to do it again, would you do it differently? What did you learn?
It was hard to hear details from the o/w. But so much damage had been done. At that point I needed everything to make sense, I felt crazy. The truth forced him to make a choice. Were still trying to get through it, 1 1/2 years later.
Coach’s Comments:
The truth can hurt. But the truth does set one free also. That is the dilemma is it not?
Sometimes confronting the other person does reveal the truth. And, if one needs to eradicate that crazy-making feeling that arises in deception, confronting the other person becomes an option.
A by-product of this confrontation was the destruction of the triangle (the other woman saw his duplicity and his game was terminated.)
I applaud this person’s capacity to charge neutral in a very difficult situation.
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Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach
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This entry was posted by Dr. Bob Huizenga on Saturday, October 4th, 2008 at 11:03 am and is filed under Confronting the Other Person. You may follow any responses to this entry through the RSS/XML feed. You may leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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