Comments on: The Marital Affair and Your Rage http://www.infidelity-help.com/blog/2008/09/05/the-marital-affair-and-your-rage/ to Survive and Cope with Infidelity and Extramarital Affairs Tue, 06 Jan 2009 11:52:50 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.5 By: Geanie http://www.infidelity-help.com/blog/2008/09/05/the-marital-affair-and-your-rage/#comment-24839 Geanie Wed, 17 Sep 2008 15:05:21 +0000 http://www.infidelity-help.com/?p=125#comment-24839 Too bad this young lady is so much pain. I would hope that her actions helped her to vent the anger she felt. However, I doubt it helped in the long run. She would have done better perhaps to just accept that this man is a morally sick individual. I'd say, give him what he wants. Let him go to the other woman. She'll be having the rage attack next. Philanderers aren't true to anyone. Accept that she made a bad choice of selecting this man for a husband. Learn ways to recognize a person who has good moral principles and wants to be married. He obviously does not. Too bad this young lady is so much pain. I would hope that her actions helped her to vent the anger she felt. However, I doubt it helped in the long run. She would have done better perhaps to just accept that this man is a morally sick individual. I’d say, give him what he wants. Let him go to the other woman. She’ll be having the rage attack next. Philanderers aren’t true to anyone. Accept that she made a bad choice of selecting this man for a husband. Learn ways to recognize a person who has good moral principles and wants to be married. He obviously does not.

]]> By: EMC http://www.infidelity-help.com/blog/2008/09/05/the-marital-affair-and-your-rage/#comment-24446 EMC Wed, 10 Sep 2008 13:31:35 +0000 http://www.infidelity-help.com/?p=125#comment-24446 My therapist advised me not to confront the OP. It is 9 months since my discovery. She still works for my husband and he keeps telling me it is defnately over between them but she is integral part of transition in his business. I am becoming obsessed with confronting her. I revise my speech in my mind...I really want to tell her that he will NEVER choose a THING like her above me permanently! I want to tell her how ugly she is. I really want to get at her and send the footage that I have (of them in MY house) to her sons who are 17 and 19 and live with their father in another town. I don't know if I will be able to charge neutral. I really want her to be so ashamed and beg for forgiveness. Oh, I wish I could just not think about it for one day... I am struggling with 'mind control' as my therapist calls it. My therapist advised me not to confront the OP. It is 9 months since my discovery. She still works for my husband and he keeps telling me it is defnately over between them but she is integral part of transition in his business. I am becoming obsessed with confronting her. I revise my speech in my mind…I really want to tell her that he will NEVER choose a THING like her above me permanently! I want to tell her how ugly she is. I really want to get at her and send the footage that I have (of them in MY house) to her sons who are 17 and 19 and live with their father in another town. I don’t know if I will be able to charge neutral. I really want her to be so ashamed and beg for forgiveness. Oh, I wish I could just not think about it for one day… I am struggling with ‘mind control’ as my therapist calls it.

]]> By: ulitmate betrayal http://www.infidelity-help.com/blog/2008/09/05/the-marital-affair-and-your-rage/#comment-24444 ulitmate betrayal Wed, 10 Sep 2008 12:57:07 +0000 http://www.infidelity-help.com/?p=125#comment-24444 I decided that I want a voice for my anger and rage. I have decided to write out all of my feelings on a daily basis as they come to me. When I finish with this notebook,(I don't know how long it will take), I plan to mail it to a friend in a sealed envelope. This will represent my voice. I haven't decided yet who I will mail it to, but I think that it will help me to work through all of this pain and anger. Any thoughts from anyone on this? I decided that I want a voice for my anger and rage. I have decided to write out all of my feelings on a daily basis as they come to me. When I finish with this notebook,(I don’t know how long it will take), I plan to mail it to a friend in a sealed envelope. This will represent my voice. I haven’t decided yet who I will mail it to, but I think that it will help me to work through all of this pain and anger.

Any thoughts from anyone on this?

]]> By: ulitmate betrayal http://www.infidelity-help.com/blog/2008/09/05/the-marital-affair-and-your-rage/#comment-24359 ulitmate betrayal Mon, 08 Sep 2008 20:31:49 +0000 http://www.infidelity-help.com/?p=125#comment-24359 Yes, I do feel the rage...it eats at you!!!! I was betrayed not only by my husband, but by my best friend! I look back at all of the times that I know NOW they were just trying to get rid of me so they could have time together, and I want to just beat the hell out of both of them!!! I have seen this video before and I can completely understand where this woman is coming from. It is very sad! My rage has been directed at both of them verbally. Their rage at me for discovering the affair and then acting on it, was manifested in physical abuse from both of them. I should have had her arrested, but I felt sorry for her kids. I have helped to raise them since their father died a few years ago. I couldn't stand the thought of them having to see their mother in hand cuffs. So, who is the better person? My daughter had to see me being abuse by both of them, yet I would not allow her to go to jail. My daughter has to endure the memory of seeing her father kissing and embracing this woman, yet I won't let her tell the other woman's children for fear of hurting them. Yes, I do feel the rage…it eats at you!!!! I was betrayed not only by my husband, but by my best friend! I look back at all of the times that I know NOW they were just trying to get rid of me so they could have time together, and I want to just beat the hell out of both of them!!!

I have seen this video before and I can completely understand where this woman is coming from. It is very sad!

My rage has been directed at both of them verbally. Their rage at me for discovering the affair and then acting on it, was manifested in physical abuse from both of them. I should have had her arrested, but I felt sorry for her kids. I have helped to raise them since their father died a few years ago. I couldn’t stand the thought of them having to see their mother in hand cuffs. So, who is the better person? My daughter had to see me being abuse by both of them, yet I would not allow her to go to jail. My daughter has to endure the memory of seeing her father kissing and embracing this woman, yet I won’t let her tell the other woman’s children for fear of hurting them.

]]> By: Lorraine http://www.infidelity-help.com/blog/2008/09/05/the-marital-affair-and-your-rage/#comment-24289 Lorraine Sun, 07 Sep 2008 12:43:48 +0000 http://www.infidelity-help.com/?p=125#comment-24289 I through my wedding band and our wedding picture the first time. The second time I just cried, it hurt too much to be mad. I too laughed and thought I'm glad I didn't carry on like that. I too felt her pain! I through my wedding band and our wedding picture the first time. The second time I just cried, it hurt too much to be mad. I too laughed and thought I’m glad I didn’t carry on like that.
I too felt her pain!

]]> By: Em A http://www.infidelity-help.com/blog/2008/09/05/the-marital-affair-and-your-rage/#comment-24279 Em A Sun, 07 Sep 2008 06:42:21 +0000 http://www.infidelity-help.com/?p=125#comment-24279 After finding out about my Ex husbands first affair I threw our computer through the car window...monitor through the front and the hard drive through the back! When I think about it now...that is scary. But after finding out about his second affair, I handled it much differently. Nothing went flying out the door, but instead, my husband behaved irrationally! I laughed at this video but at the same time I felt this poor woman's pain... After finding out about my Ex husbands first affair I threw our computer through the car window…monitor through the front and the hard drive through the back! When I think about it now…that is scary. But after finding out about his second affair, I handled it much differently. Nothing went flying out the door, but instead, my husband behaved irrationally!
I laughed at this video but at the same time I felt this poor woman’s pain…

]]> By: dee http://www.infidelity-help.com/blog/2008/09/05/the-marital-affair-and-your-rage/#comment-24249 dee Sat, 06 Sep 2008 17:33:16 +0000 http://www.infidelity-help.com/?p=125#comment-24249 how sad. how sad.

]]> By: Mary Ann McKinney http://www.infidelity-help.com/blog/2008/09/05/the-marital-affair-and-your-rage/#comment-24248 Mary Ann McKinney Sat, 06 Sep 2008 16:57:24 +0000 http://www.infidelity-help.com/?p=125#comment-24248 I have mixed feelings about the betrayed wife's reactions. First I admire her a bit as she's got gumption and she certainly makes her feelings known. On the other hand, I can't help but wonder if anger and drama are her predominant personality traits and if so, maybe she's just made a complete ass out of herself. I also wonder what type of affair her spouse is involved in and whether she might live to regret her actions. Overall, though, I gotta give her a hand for her spunk. I can't envision myself making a public scene like that, but ya gotta give her credit for her honesty! I have mixed feelings about the betrayed wife’s reactions. First I admire her a bit as she’s got gumption and she certainly makes her feelings known. On the other hand, I can’t help but wonder if anger and drama are her predominant personality traits and if so, maybe she’s just made a complete ass out of herself. I also wonder what type of affair her spouse is involved in and whether she might live to regret her actions. Overall, though, I gotta give her a hand for her spunk. I can’t envision myself making a public scene like that, but ya gotta give her credit for her honesty!

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