Upon discovery, it is often common for the “offended” spouse to profess his/her love, hoping that will somehow stop the affair and save the marriage. Often, just the opposite occurs.
Listen to this video on why it is important to refrain from saying, “I Love You.”
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Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach
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September 3rd, 2008 at 12:08 pm
Made this Killer Mistake in the beginning! It only caused my husband great confusion and anger. It pushed him closer to the OW! He felt that I was weak and it gave him the upper hand. He was in control, not me!
September 4th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
I was totally scenario number 4 and 5…wow! I did it…and the results? I get called a “stalker”, and a Psychopath! Well, she always said I would “never fight for her” in years past…I guess she knows the answer to THAT question now! As if scripted, I have committed each and every “Dont do” by Dr Huizenga in his book. I have gone the whole gamut…did em all. And now? Things are still broken, some VERY mean words were exchanged…and all I can do now is…wait. I have said and videoed on my My Space site (www.myspace.com/dagiandjimforever) that I can…I can just simply wait. My friends tell me, “Jim, you left Europe to start a new life back home…when she SEES is, and can touch and taste it…she will pull to the curb, she will see that you are the real deal…she will not throw away 5 1/2 years with you on these sudden, fear driven silly Internet flings…be patient”. Well, easier said than done…and still painful. Just living day by day, and with hope…yet sending a signal, that a future can be discussed, but only under VERY strict and solid guidelines, and ONLY when she has this
“phase” out of her system. (She never did this before…not even a little bit…) and this is the only thread that has me holding on. Temporary insanity…right Dr Huizenga?
September 8th, 2008 at 4:42 pm
Hi Jim,
I have been reading your posts, and I am so sad for you!!! I hope that everything will work out for you. The only thing that concerns me is that you are still willing to marry this woman. I don’t know you or her, but it would seem to me that you are setting yourself up to get hurt AGAIN, in the future. If you have children, it will be even worse. I DO NOT want to seem judgmental, just offering my opinion. You sound like such a quality guy! I’m sure you could find someone who DESERVES you!!!