Comments on: Infidelity and Confronting the Other Person: The Drama of Narcissism http://www.infidelity-help.com/blog/2008/08/30/infidelity-and-confronting-the-other-person-the-drama-of-narcissism/ to Survive and Cope with Infidelity and Extramarital Affairs Thu, 02 Feb 2012 21:06:05 -0800 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: DrowningInLimbo http://www.infidelity-help.com/blog/2008/08/30/infidelity-and-confronting-the-other-person-the-drama-of-narcissism/comment-page-1/#comment-56554 DrowningInLimbo Wed, 17 Nov 2010 14:20:58 +0000 http://www.infidelity-help.com/?p=119#comment-56554 In this example, what has the best chance of succeeding? I believe my wife is in the "I Don't want to Say No" or "I fell out of love (and just love being in love)". She has been secretly texting another man, in another city, several hundred miles away. I discovered this secret 1 month ago and confronted her about it. She said they "were just friends", and still swears that they have never met. Despite that fact that I have 2 occasions where she lied about her whereabouts, staying an extra night on business trip in a hotel closer to the OM, all in a cities half way b/w where we live and the OM lives. She tells me she loves me, enjoys spending time with me and our kids, thinks I don't deserve this, knows that she shouldn't be talking/texting the OM, that it is wrong, but all of that is followed by a "but I don't want to stop talking to him." I have made all of the mistakes over the last weeks the we are not supposed to do, too needy, angry, begging, etc., but have now decided to back off. As our counselor told me, what else do have to lose at this point, she needs to be able to choose you. Our counselor told us there really wasn't much more she could due until my wife decided she wanted to be in and work on the marriage. But still contemplating talking to the OM. Others tell me that will endear him to her, but what is your take? Thanks, D In this example, what has the best chance of succeeding?

I believe my wife is in the “I Don’t want to Say No” or “I fell out of love (and just love being in love)”.

She has been secretly texting another man, in another city, several hundred miles away. I discovered this secret 1 month ago and confronted her about it. She said they “were just friends”, and still swears that they have never met. Despite that fact that I have 2 occasions where she lied about her whereabouts, staying an extra night on business trip in a hotel closer to the OM, all in a cities half way b/w where we live and the OM lives.

She tells me she loves me, enjoys spending time with me and our kids, thinks I don’t deserve this, knows that she shouldn’t be talking/texting the OM, that it is wrong, but all of that is followed by a “but I don’t want to stop talking to him.”

I have made all of the mistakes over the last weeks the we are not supposed to do, too needy, angry, begging, etc., but have now decided to back off. As our counselor told me, what else do have to lose at this point, she needs to be able to choose you. Our counselor told us there really wasn’t much more she could due until my wife decided she wanted to be in and work on the marriage. But still contemplating talking to the OM. Others tell me that will endear him to her, but what is your take?

Thanks,
D

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