The headlines read this morning: David Duchovny Enters Rehab for Sex Addiction
There are no details on the extent of his sexual addiction, but applaud him for seeking treatment. I would assume his sexual addiction was at the point of severely eroding his life.
Infidelity and extramarital affairs can contain components of sexual addiction, although not all infidelity is based on sexual addiction. I describe an affair type (#2) as “I Can’t say no” (found in my ebook: Break Free From the Affair) which displays sexual addiction.
Here are a few characteristics:
1. Sexual activity is often frequent and diverse. For example, porn, multiple sex partners, strip clubs and serial infidelity are ways of acting on this obsession.
2. Sexual addiction is tied to fear. There is the the fear being discovered, the belief that one is “abnormal” and the fear of losing family, marriage, vocation, and reputation.
3. Sexual addiction is usually characterized by a promise/failure cycle. After the sexual behavior the person usually experiences guilt/fear and internally and/or externally promises, “No more.” However s/he again drifts toward the sexual acting out behavior. Life is like a roller coaster with a series of broken promises.
4. True intimacy is rare. Others become objects for personal gratification.
5. Sexual addiction can occur as one attempts to work out issues of sexual confusion and/or abuse stemming from his/her history.
6. A person sexually addicted often lives in a distorted world. The object of his/her addictions assumes an all encompassing magnitude. As the addiction becomes more ingrained s/he may “split” his/her world and seeming live a dual life.
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Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach
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This entry was posted by Dr. Bob Huizenga on Friday, August 29th, 2008 at 10:09 am and is filed under Infidelity Help. You may follow any responses to this entry through the RSS/XML feed. You may leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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August 30th, 2008 at 11:42 am
My husband and I are 7 months into recovery. The characteristics you listed describes the kind of affairs he had. We have been married 12 years and I did not know he was addicted to porn. I never saw him watching it but he confessed that he had been secretly doing it. That in return caused him to have multiple affairs. He’s disgusted with himself now because he can’t believe how he let himself get this way.