Continuing my research and series on Confronting the Other Person.

1. What was your purpose for confronting the OP and what did you say/do?

I was asked to by my partner she thought I would understand the affair better

2. What happened? What was the outcome?

I met the other lady we both agreed to give my partner space to figure out what she wanted. She left the meeting and went straight to her while I held back. She then said it proved she loved her more because she came right to her.

3. If you were to do it again, would you do it differently? What did you learn?

I would not have gotten it involved it only gave me a face to my put with my thoughts. I learned I should just continue to work with on me instead of getting or creating more drama

Coach’s comment:

Here’s a good example where it’s important to dig.

What might be the motives for such a request?

Ask questions: “What do you want to me understand about your relationship? And further, what other things, SPECIFICALLY do you want me to understand?

List 3 or 4 parts of that relationship you want me to understand. And, if I would understand what you want me to understand, what would be the outcome?”

Also, be aware of the “vibes” you get in asking such questions. Is there an openness? Do you feel a set-up coming? Honor your intuition.

Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach If you enjoyed this post, make sure you and subscribe to the RSS Feed.

This entry was posted by Dr. Bob Huizenga on Sunday, August 17th, 2008 at 10:12 am and is filed under confronting the other person. You may follow any responses to this entry through the RSS/XML feed. You may leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

This entry has been tagged with the following keywords: infidelity set-up, confronting the other person, marital infidelity, coping with infidelity, effects of infidelity, marriage infidelity, extramarital affairs, emotional infidelity, surviving infidelity, emotional affair.