The aftermath of the discovery of infidelity in a marriage leads, obviously, to heightened feelings and tension. Somewhat surprising to some is the fact that sexual desire and enthusiasm is intensified. A writer asked me:
Should continue to have sex with my husband? (who is having an affair)
Here’s my short, off-the-cuff response:
Often the sexual tension (and desire) is ramped up a notch (sometimes more than that) with the discovery of the affair. Sex often becomes passionate and intense. It is OK? I don’t see any harm in it if it is enjoyable for both. However, take some time to reflect upon what it means to be engaged in the activity. What does it mean for you? What are you getting? And, if possible, talk to your spouse, “I wonder what it means that our passion is ramped up and yet there is this third party?” Sex is the “window to our soul” and reflects some of our deepest needs and concerns.
This entry was posted by Dr. Bob Huizenga on Friday, July 25th, 2008 at 5:48 pm and is filed under Infidelity Help. You may follow any responses to this entry through the RSS/XML feed. You may leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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July 26th, 2008 at 12:44 am
Answered from a trusting viewpoint about what I’ve read as Hysterical Bonding, but I think a critical point was left out…STD’s. Not every person who has an affair is doing it with an equally committed soulmate/affair partner. And condoms do not prevent transmission of all STD’s. HIV/AIDS still exists as do life-long conditions such as herpes & a death sentence from a form of Genital Warts.