Should you confront the other person?

This person did and what she discovered turned her stomach.

Be prepared for what you might discover.

1. What was your purpose for confronting the OP and what did you say/do?

My purpose was selfish. I wanted to see who this person was, not only looks but personality and really wanted to know for my own need of knowing what kind of person would fall for such nonsense. What I did was invite her to my daughters home since she was lied to so she can see the family unit that she was helping destroy, and in return would see that we are real caring feeling people.

2. What happened? What was the outcome?

Well I found out lot of information most of which I hated hearing. She told me how they met etc, their plans for the future and many of the lies he told her. The outcome left me ill.

3. If you were to do it again, would you do it differently? What did you learn?

Well I was so curious, it was eating at me to know. So would I do it differently? Probably. I learned that nothing good could ever come out of any of this.

Coach’s Comments:

1. Curiosity is common. What are you seemingly up against? One of my live coaching audio tapes, 19 Infidelity Coaching Sessions, deals with this issue: “Competing with a blond bombshell.” And underlying need may be to affirm one’s attractiveness and desirability. And, that is understandable. Many express relief when they discover that the OP does not fit his/her inflated fantasy.

2. Don’t assume that if the OP meets you and/or your family that they will be impressed with your feelings, caring or whatever it is you want to show them. They are often too wrapped up in their own needs or fears.

3. Be prepared for what you might discover. Some of it may not be very pretty. Indeed, it may upset your stomach. Give that thought before you dive in.

What do you do with your anger/rage?

Do you feel it? Do you think it? Do you plot devious scenarios in your mind to “get even?”

Do you express it? Do you keep it buried deep within? Does it come out around the edges - short with children, loved ones, kick the dog, etc?

Are you fearful of expressing directly to your cheating husband or wife the intensity of your anger/rage? …Fearful that your anger/rage will only inflame the situation or drive him/her to the other person and away from you?

Does your anger/rage wear away at you, internally? Do you suffer physical symptoms of this internal churning? Have you noticed the tightness in your muscles, in your body? Do you feel the knot in your stomach? Do you experience other physical discomfort as if your body is crying out to you for some sort of relief?

What to do with the rage, the anger???

Well, watch this video and leave your comments. Do you approve of this means? Do you find it humorous? Do you find it cathartic? Do you wish it is something you could do? Do you think it’s harmful? or helpful? Have you done it? If so, what has happened.

I’m not suggesting you do this. However, watching it might enable you to touch that anger in you and decide how best to cope with it.

Or…. you might just get a good laugh out of it…

Should you confront the other person? This scenario describes the husband attempting to protect his wife. What do you think? Leave a comment.

1. What was your purpose for confronting the OP and what did you say/do?

I thought they were just phoning each other but I wanted to know the inside story so I called him.

2. What happened? What was the outcome?

He told me ” I did your wife.” He tried to create that wedge between us. It did not work. I knew it was he who sought after her due to the numerous incoming calls and the fact she called me several times afterwards due to guilt. Our relationship is stronger now. I am going to stop working away from home and stay home to watch for these predators. He wanted to move in and take over my home.

3. If you were to do it again, would you do it differently? What did you learn?

Yes. I would stay home and work in our area and pay more attention to her activities and callers. She was just curious and found out there are vast numbers of cheaters out their who prey on lonely women.

Coach’s Comments:

1. I wonder from where the curiosity emerged. What was behind that? My experience tells me that many who had little sexual experience before marriage at some point experience that curiosity. (I’m not condoning sexual experimentation before marriage!) That curiosity is fairly normal. However, it is one thing to have it and another to act on it.

2. His act of calling the OP seems to be an act of protection. He seemed to know that she was vulnerable and limited in her capacity to set boundaries. Does she somehow lack the internal mechanisms to set boundaries or is there a naivety regarding relationships, especially those with the opposite sex?

3. He seems to assume his role as protector and she also likes him protecting her. This balance and agreement in the relationship might work fairly well. However, it will be tested frequently. If the two of them have a conscious awareness of their roles, they could ward off future problems.